AmrraBlog

forwarded by kate

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When another person jumped in and explained that the sun rises in the east (and has for some time), she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."

And then she voted.

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I used to work in technical support for a 24x7 call center. One day I got a call from an InDUHvidual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Pacific.."

And then he voted.

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So my colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving."

And then she voted.

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I was in a high school advanced physics class and the teacher was talking about a new military weapon that uses sonic waves on the battlefield to burst enemy soldier's chests. One InDUHvidual in the class spoke up and said, "Well that's stupid! Why don't they just wear headphones?"

And a few years later, she voted.

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My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car. It's designed to cut through a seatbelt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

And then she voted.

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My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought two cases. The cashier multiplied two times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

And then they all voted.

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I was hanging out with a friend of mine when we saw a woman walk by us with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I had to explain to her that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.

And then she voted

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I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because they were trained professionals and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"

And then she voted.

God save America

I haven't been surfing in about 8 months. I work about a half mile up from the beach in Encinitas and everyone here has been bugging me about going surfing with them, so I finally strapped the board to the racks on the shell of my truck and headed up to work.

About 3 miles before my exit, I feel what seems like a gust of wind hitting my truck, and I hear a scrape from the roof. I look in the rearview mirror and see my board go up and over the car behind me and someone else swerve.

I had used bungie cords. Never a recommended way to strap a board down, but hey I'd never had any problems with them before...but it only takes once.

I pulled off the freeway to try and circle back and recover the board, see if anyone got in an accident, etc. The 5 south was clogged up with morning traffic so I took the coast route instead. Get down next to the beach and it's MOCKING me! Perfect waves peeling by and I'm trying to recover my lost child.

Get back on the freeway, head over to the fast lane and slow down to about 50 so when the board comes up I'll be ready...of course there's this old lady in a beemer all pissed off...until I put my LEFT blinker on...

Found the board on the median in almost one piece. Looked like it had landed on its fins, which were just...gone...the glass around the fin box is thrashed, there's numerous random dings all over the place and what looks like it might be a tire tread mark on the rail. I'll send it to the lab for analysis.

I love that board. Had it shaped about...oh...3 years ago. 9' 3-stringer by Tony Staples. Took the template specs from an old Robert August board and had him add rocker and concaves. Not the best paddling board in the world but could turn on a dime...also handled steeeeeeeep takeoffs really well. Ask Jon about the day at north bird, he'll tell you. I'll pass it off to Roper sometime next month when I have the money to get it repaired. For now it'll be sitting in my office, gently weeping.

Jonathan was good enough to lend me one of his boards for a while. Many thanks Mr. Dale.

I got real tie-down straps.

All donations to the "Don't tie your board down with bungies" fund can be directed to rjones (at) planned (dot) org.



-z